What Do They See?
“He [Jesus] also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that
they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
As I was praying with my six-year-old grandson the other night, I felt pleased and encouraged by the way he simply thanked God for several things that came to his mind at that moment (always an interesting list), and then voiced a couple of “please be with…” and “please protect…” requests. I was kind of beaming inside, hoping that for him, this was just the beginning of a long life of trusting in and praying to God. I was also thinking, perhaps a bit selfishly, that my example was somehow helping him in that endeavor. After all, my wife and I have always tried to set an example of a prayerful life to our children, and more recently to our grandchildren.
I was pondering that experience with my grandson a day or two later, thinking about how he was really getting the thankfulness thing down, and was even starting to grow in the area of supplication – humbly asking for things (for self or others) in prayer. As I was getting ready to secretly pat myself on the back again, I was suddenly hit with the thought, “But what about confession and repentance?” As I considered that question, I realized that I had yet to hear him pray any type of confession/repentance prayer. And then I began to question how often I had ever heard any of my children pray a prayer of confession/repentance when they were growing up. And then the conviction hit – how often had I set the example of confession and repentance when praying with them?
Even as adults, when engaging in corporate prayer, we tend to gravitate toward prayers of thankfulness and supplication. Once in a while we might even sprinkle in some adoration, acknowledging God’s magnificent attributes. And these are good things to pray! Thankfulness is encouraged (and demonstrated) throughout Scripture (see Psalms 100 and 107, Eph 5:4, Col 3:15-16, and 1Th 5:18 just for starters). Adoration and supplication are part of the example prayer that Jesus gave us (Mt 6:9-13):
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” (adoration)
“Give us this day our daily bread…” (supplication)
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (supplication)
But so is confession/repentance: “...and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (“debts” is translated “trespasses” and “sins” in other translations). The apostle John writes in 1 John 1:8-10: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”
So why do we so easily neglect that form of prayer, whether we are praying in a corporate setting with other adults or praying with our children/grandchildren at night? Well, I believe it is because it exposes us. We can pray prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and supplication and look really pious doing it. That should not be our motivation, though, as the Lord will surely call us out for that, as he did the Pharisee in the above passage. But even when our intentions are right and good, as they should be, there’s no downside to praying those prayers; we only appear—and perhaps feel—more holy (again, I’m not saying these are bad things; prayer always draws us closer to God).
But the minute we start praying prayers of confession and repentance, there is a cost. Our image takes a hit. We reveal that we are flawed and that we have weaknesses (which, of course, God already knows, but maybe our friends don’t). And we really hate to shatter the image our little ones have of us. (Let’s face it, that superhero image only lasts a few years, anyway!) But if we don’t set the example for them, how will they learn the importance of confession and repentance, and the humility that goes along with it? How will they ever understand the incredible depth and power of the gospel, and realize their desperate need for Jesus, our Savior?
Obviously, discretion is needed when it comes to confessional prayer. We don’t need to air our dirtiest laundry to anyone and everyone. That would be foolish. We should, however, confess our sins to another mature, trusted believer who will encourage us and hold us accountable. And what we share when praying with younger people should be age appropriate and not beyond what they can understand or handle. But let’s face it: there are plenty of things we can and should confess that fall into that category.
So, let’s follow the example of some of the pillars of faith found in the Bible. David prayed in Psalm 38:18, “I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.” And he wrote the perfect example of a deep, confessional prayer in Psalm 51 following his major failure in the incident with Bathsheba. And Daniel wrote: “While I was speaking and praying, confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my plea before the LORD my God…” (Daniel 9:20). We don’t want to teach our children how to be prideful Pharisees; we want to teach them to be real, authentic, and humble, walking faithfully with the Lord, as children “after his own heart.”
Psalm 32:1-5
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
Through my groaning all day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
Selah
I acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Selah
